April 5, 1993
1992 Hubbie Nominees
Joe Bob Briggs
Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend, the low-budget made-in-Denver independent comedy in which a chubby Omaha security guard in a lumpy golf shirt spends his entire lie savings on call girls in less than two weeks.
Ronnie Cramer, Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend
Andren Scott, Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend, as Marcus Templeton, a guy so depressed that he sits in his bathtub for hours with the phone sitting on the commode, eats frozen dinners and Slim Jims, watches porno strippers on cable in his underwear, buys a jar of 'Reduce-O-Cream' ('safe as any garden vegetable') to make himself more attractive to women, tries to talk to women who are repulsed by him, considers a 'Wonder Corset,' wonders if someday he'll become a serial killer or whether he's currently insane, goes to the library to research the subject, and calls girls up for dates with opening lines like "We could go to lunch. There's a Sinclair station near your house that has sandwiches on sale for $1.49.'
Andren Scott, Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend: 'At least this is better than my last job, changing those aromatic urinal cakes.'
October 27, 1993
King of the Silver Scream (Cover Story)
A movie mogul stalks South Denver by Michael Roberts
Wanted: Ronnie Cramer for drive-in shootings
Five Page Story plus a Halloween sidebar written by Ronnie Cramer ('Thank God It's Fright Day') with horror film recommendations
Adult Video News
Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend
Scorched Earth Productions. D. Ronnie Cramer. Andren Scott, Rebecca Watson, Monica McFarland, Jean Wolf, Jim Norton, Christy Cass, Sheila Ivy (Traister), Karen Pombo, Karen Zaczkowski, Stephanie Campana, Sarah Young. 100 Min. Feature Film.
Is this a great movie title or what? While it's supposed to be a 'black comedy,' Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend is beyond black. It's chilling, uncomfortable, depressing and enough to make any guy with love handles consider terminal liposuction.
Andren Scott is very Jackie Vernon-ish (you can see a similar characterization in Microwave Massacre) as a pudgy, one-dimensional bachelor named Marcus Templeton, a security guard who has no life to speak of. Templeton is a rejectee who gets less than no respect from women. To make matters worse, he imagines himself to have the psychological profile of a serial killer and he spends his time vegetating in front of a TV fantasizing about the semi-nude babes he sees on a cable-access channel. Marcus is so chronic, downbeat and introspective, he makes Marty look like an L.A. rave party maven and Hamlet a stand-up comedian.
Marcus is convinced that the only way he'll ever connect with a woman is to pay for one, and thus begins this whole Dostoevskian descent to rock bottom. Marcus becomes obsessed with outcall girls and winds up blowing his life savings on them. Predictably, just when you think he's reached the edge of self-degradation, Marcus finds a way of going over the edge.
Even Hitler Had a Girlfriend calls to mind the films of Ray Dennis Steckler and the weirdness of Gorman Bechard and Carmen Capobianco (Psychos in Love and Intergalactic Gigolo). Replete with a gourmet's sampler of 'bimbos' in topless cameos, EHHAG is a film that might have had far more commercial value had it contented itself with T&A shtick, a lot more skin, less self-examination and a 'downer' ending. Such as it is, it's an inspired, singularly unique, well-made little movie with narrowly-defined audience appeal. Unfortunately, it's ilk doesn't rate very highly on commercial video store shelves, and that's a shame. - Gene Ross